Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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