i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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