Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sorry my hands just texted you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
