I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
