STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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