my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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