New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
