Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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