yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My feet surprised me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
