2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish I only lived at night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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