You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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