You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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