I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
