Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
