Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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