Sry I called you an 8
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
