better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
