At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
