Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Randomize
