some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
