i already hear my dad disowning me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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