3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
