too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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