with your own penis?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
