Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
