Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
