Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
