Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
