just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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