3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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