Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
