I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
