If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
