nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
