i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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