i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
