Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
