I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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