I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
