So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
