dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
