you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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