Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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