we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
