Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
