I just gift wrapped bread.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
