I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
