Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
