theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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