I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he's single and there are thong briefs.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
