i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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