Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
